Jimmy Neutron Meets Shrek/Transcript
This is the script for Jimmy Neutron Meets Shrek. Script Fairytale creatures in the swamp/Meet Lord Farquaad ignores them and heads into the house. Later that night, a cauldron boils over a fire as Shrek puts an eyeball in a glass of water and sips from it. He looks at the food on his table before looking at the door. He sighs and sits down. He then gets an idea and yanks a huge dollop of earwax out of his ear. He puts it on a bit of wood and lights it with a match, making it resemble a candle. Shrek then picks up a knife and fork and starts to eat. Donkey watches from the window before walking back to the Irelanders who are already fast asleep. He lays down and shuts his eyes, smiling happily. Then, just as Shrek is about to eat another bite of food, he hears the door opening. He sighs, puts the cutlery down and walks to the door Shrek: I thought I told you all to stay outside! Donkey: We are outside! Scoop: Yeah! We haven't moved an inch! then hears a rattling noise behind him and sees a shadow of a mouse moving across the wall. He goes back to the table to investigate as another mouse shadow moves behind him. He looks under the table but sees nothing. Then as he looks on top of it, he finds three mice wearing sunglasses and carrying walking sticks walking on it, much to his shock First Blind Mouse: Well, gents, it's a far cry from the farm but what choice do we have? Second Blind Mouse: Well, it's not home but it'll do just fine. Third Blind Mouse: (bouncing on the half eaten slug) What a lovely bed. Shrek: (grabbing him) Gotcha! Third Blind Mouse: (sniffs at Shrek's ear) I've found some cheese! (bites it) Shrek: Ah! (swipes at him) Third Blind Mouse: Bleuh! Awful stuff! jumps off Shrek's shoulder and lands on a spoon, launching brown liquid into Shrek's face Shrek: Ugh! First Blind Mouse: Is that you, Gorder? Gorder: How did you know? Shrek: Enough! (grabs the three mice) What are you doing in my house?! (gets hit in the back by Snow White's glass coffin) Hey! sees the Seven Dwarves behind him. One of them waves Shrek: Oh, no, no, no, no! Dead broad off the table! Dwarf: Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken. Shrek: Huh? moves a curtain aside and there, sleeping in his bed, is the Big Bad Wolf Shrek: (gasps) Big Bad Wolf: What? Shrek: (carrying Wolf to the door) I live in a swamp. I put up signs. I'm a terrifying ogre! What do I have to do to get a little privacy? (throws Wolf outside) Oh, no. there are dozens of fairytale creatures taking refuge in the swamp, much to Shrek's utter horror Shrek: No! (dodges a witch) NO!!!!! Witches: (cackling) Girl: Don't push. looks around at the dozens of fairytale creatures surrounding his home with some of the heroes trying to comfort them over their loss Shrek: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY SWAMP?! (echoes) Everyone: (gasp) Fairies: (talk over each other as they hide in a tent) Shrek: All right, get out of here. All of you, move it! Come on! Let's go! Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey! dwarves and some fairies run and fly into Shrek's house Shrek: No, no! No, no. Not there. Not there. lock the door. Shrek yanks on it but it won't open. He sighs and turns to Donkey and the heroes Donkey: Hey, don't look at us! We didn't invite them! The Guru: Native Austrailian Tom Thomas: Guru says 'They all just came here on their own.' Pinocchio: Well, gosh. No one invited us. Shrek: What? Pinocchio: We were forced to come here. Shrek: By who? First Little Pig: Lord Farquaad. He huffed and he puffed and he... signed an eviction notice. Scoop: So, this... Lord Farquaad, was the one behind the fairytale creature sale in the first place. Mewtwo: Yes. Now we know who was behind all that trouble to begin with. Shrek: (sighs) Alright. (to the Fairytale Creatures) Who knows where this Farquaad guy is? silence Donkey: Oh, I do. I know where he is. Shrek: Does anyone else know where to find him? baby bear raises his paw but the father bear stops him. Wolf and a wizard point at each other Shrek: Anyone at all? Donkey: (bouncing up and down) Me, me! Shrek: Anyone? Donkey: (still bouncing) Oh! Oh, pick me! Oh, I know! I know! Me, me! Shrek: (sighs) Okay! Fine! (to the Fairytale Creatures) Attention, all fairytale things! Do not get comfortable! Your welcome is officially worn out! In fact, I'm going to see this guy Farquaad right now and get you all off my land and back where you came from! Fairy Tale Characters: (cheering) flock of white doves drop a flowery cape on Shrek's back Shrek: Oh! (pointing to Donkey and the Irelanders) You lot! You're all coming with me. Jimmy Neutron: That's the spirit, Shrek! Let's go find Farquaad and give him a piece of our minds! Irelanders: Okay, Connor! Donkey: All right, that's what I like to hear, man. Shrek and Donkey, two stalwart friends, off on a whirlwind big-city adventure along with a bunch of other characters. I love it! Zazu: Look out, Farquaad! Here we come! grabs a torch from a dwarf and the heroes walk across a log bridge over the river Donkey: On the road again~ Sing it with me, Shrek. I can't wait to get on the road again~ Shrek: (grabbing Donkey's flower crown in annoyance) What did I say about singing? Donkey: Well, can I whistle? Shrek: No. Donkey: Well can I hum it? Shrek: Alright, hum it. Donkey: (humming On the Road Again) Arriving at Duloc/Battle In The Arena a crowd cheers as they come into a huge Colosseum Thomas: Huh, I wonder what's going on? Scoop: Maybe it's the annual jousting tournament. Sheen Estevez: I don't think so. I see any jousting lines. And no one has lances. Lord Farquaad: (announcing) That champion shall have the honor, no, no, the privilege, to go forth and rescue the lovely Princess Fiona... from the fiery keep of the dragon. If for any reason, the winner is unsuccessful, the first runner-up will take his place, and so on and so forth. Some of you may die, but it's a sacrifice I am willing to make. cheering Lord Farquaad: Let the tournament begin! then walks forward as the Knights move asside Lord Farquaad: What is that?! crowd gasps Lord Farquaad: Ooh! It's hideous! Shrek: Aw that's not very nice. Donkey: (nods) Shrek: It's just a donkey, some kids, a train, a digger, 2 grown-ups, a few minions, a purple koala and a helicopter pilot from Australia along with a few other characters. Donkey: Huh? Lord Farquaad: Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the ogre, AND all of his weird friends... Shrek and Donkey: (gasp) Everyone Else: WHAT?! Lord Farquaad: Will be named champion! have at them! Knights advance on them Shrek: Whoa. Now, hey. Now come on. backs into a table with cups on it and picks one up Woman: Go ahead! Get him! Shrek: Can't we just settle this over a pint? Crowd: Kill the beast! Shrek: No? Alright then. (guzzles some beer from the cup then steps over to a barrel) Come on! smashes the handle on the barrel with the cup, causing a jet of beer to spray out, knocking the knights over. The song Bad Reputation plays in the background as an all out arena battle starts. Donkey gets up on a barrel and rolls it over two knights, flattening them. Lord Farquaad watches in disbelief. Knights run towards Shrek but Donkey knocks a few of them over with the barrel. Two knights chase Shrek into a pen which two horses gallop out of when they see Shrek coming. Shrek pushes against the ropes and flings himself at the knights, knocking them over. The crowd gasps and suddenly begin to cheer Shrek on. Shrek jumps on another knight and then belly flops another. A knight points a spear at Shrek, making the crowd gasp until Shrek grabs the spear from him and picks him up Donkey: Hey, Shrek! Tag me! Tag me! carries the knight over to Donkey. Donkey head-butts the knight, knocking him out. The crowd cheers as Shrek takes in their applause laughing and striking a pose Shrek: (laughs) Yah! a knight behind him, Shrek jumps and lands on the knight, knocking him down Woman: The chair! Give him the chair! hits the knight with a chair, knocking him out. Farquaad face-palms in dismay. Shrek then throws a knight into the ropes and strikes him with his legs. He then grabs another knight and flips him over. He pins another knight down then bangs another's head on the ground before spinning the final one and throwing him into one of the fence posts. Donkey then kicks the final knight, knocking him out. The crowd goes wild as Farquaad seems impressed Crowd: (cheering) Shrek: (laughs) Oh, yeah! (growls while flexing his muscles) Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till Thursday! Try the Beal! (laughs) singles to the guards who point crossbows at the heroes, much to the crowd's horror Carl Wheezer: Oh my! his inhaler Jimmy Neutron: What gives?! We won! Koki: Well, clearly, he's not ready to quit yet! Guard: Shall I give the order, sir? Lord Farquaad: No. I have a better idea. People of Duloc, I give you our champions! Crowd: (cheering) Shrek: What? Heroes: Huh? Lord Farquaad: Congratulations, ogre, and friends. You've all won the honor of embarking on a great and noble quest. Shrek: Quest? We're already on a quest. A quest to get my swamp back. Lord Farquaad: Your swamp? Shrek: Yeah! My swamp! Where you dumped those fairytale creatures! Lucy Wilde: Especially after what you did to them! You had no right to have them sold like that the other day! Lord Farquaad: Indeed. Alright, ogre, and friends. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for me, and I'll give your ogre friend his swamp back. Shrek: Exactly the way it was? Lord Farquaad: Down to the last slime covered toadstool. Shrek: And the squatters? Lord Farquaad: As good as gone. silence as Shrek begins to take Farquaad's words into consideration while the guards look at each other in confusion, with their crossbows still pointed at the heroes Shrek: What kind of quest? Shrek awakens Princess Fiona, saves Donkey and the others, and escaping from the dragon Shrek reveals himself to Fiona/Making camp/Moonlight talk slides down the hill Fiona: You did it! You rescued me! You're amazing. You're... You're wonderful. You're... she speaks our heroes slide down and hit each other Fiona: A little unorthodox, I'll admit. But thy deed is great, and thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt. Donkey: his throat Fiona: And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed? (indicating our heroes) Or a fine group of squires. Donkey: I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a steed. chuckles while Shrek rolls his eyes Fiona: And so, who are you guys who companion my hero? Jimmy Neutron: Jimmy Neutron. Boy genius. Carl wheezer: Carl Wheezer. Sheen Estevez: I am Sheen. Cindy Vortex: I'm Cindy Vortex. Lucy Wilde: Agent Lucy Wilde of the AVL. Minions: greet in Minion speak Tom Thomas: G'day. My name's Tom Thomas, and this, is The Guru. The Guru : Native Austrailian Fiona: It's an honor to meet you all. (to Shrek) The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight. Shrek: Uh, no. Fiona: Why not? Shrek: I.... I have helmet hair. Fiona: Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer. Shrek: Oh, no, you wouldn't... 'st. Fiona: But how will you kiss me? Shrek: What? That wasn't in the job discription! Donkey: Maybe it's a perk. Fiona: No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in a tower, and beset by a dragon, is rescued by a brave knight, and then they share true love's first kiss. Donkey: Hmm? With Shrek? You think... Wait, wait, you think that Shrek is your true love? Fiona: Well, yes. Shrek and our heroes turn to one another and they burst out laughter Donkey: You think Shrek is your true love! continues Fiona: What is so funny? Shrek: Let's just say I'm not your type, okay? Fiona: Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now... Now, remove your helmet. Shrek: Look, I really don't think this is a good idea. Fiona: Just take off the helmet. Shrek: I'm not going to. Fiona: stern Take it off. Shrek: No! Fiona: NOW! Shrek: Okay! Easy. As you command, Your Highness. takes off the helmet much to Fiona's shock as Shrek smiles Fiona: You... You're a... an ogre. Shrek: Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming. Fiona: Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed to be an ogre. Shrek: sighs Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He's the one who wants to marry you. Fiona: Then why didn't he come rescue me? Shrek: Good question. You should ask him that when we get there. Fiona: But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some ogre, and his... his pet, and a train, a digger, 2 weirdo grownups, and a bunch of weird yellow pill creatures, a Austrailian helicopter pilot, his weirdo koala guy, and a bunch of kids, and a robotic dog! Donkey: Well, so much for noble steed. Scoop: I have never been so offended. The Guru: Native Austrailian in an angry and offended tone Jimmy Neutron: Tom, can you translate that? Tom Thomas: Well, I could, but I'd rather not. the viewers This is a kids movie, after all. Fiona: What IS he talking about? Gru: Look, Princess, you're not making our job any easier. Fiona: Well, I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. on a rock You can all tell Lord Farquaad, that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right here. Cindy Vortex: For a Princess, she's rather stubborn. Libby Folfax: Mm-hm. Shrek: Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy. Fiona: You wouldn't dare. picks her up Lucy Wilde: Yup. He dared. Shrek: Ya comin', guys? Fiona: Oh! Put me down! Donkey: Yeah, I'm right behind ya. Thomas: Come on, let's go. puff to follow them Fiona: Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not dignified! Put me down! screams then fade into the next scene as the team are now in a forest as Donkey is asking Fiona certain questions Donkey: Okay, okay here's another, question. Say there's a woman that digs you, right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten? Fiona: You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what happens when you find your... Shrek shoves her Fiona: Hey! sighs The sooner we get to Duloc, the better. Scoop: Oh, you'll really like there. It's marvelous! it has a huge castle, and lots of very interesting people. Fiona: And what of my groom-to-be, Lord Farquaad. What's he like? Shrek: Well, let me put it this way, Princess. her down Men of Farquaad's stature are in short supply. laughs Donkey: Oh, no, Shrek. There are those who think little of him. both begin laughing as Shrek washes his face Edith: Yeah, you could also say he has a small opinion to the world! then laughs hard as she falls onto her back Fiona: Stop it! Stop it, all of you! You know, you're just jealous that you could never measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad! Margo: Well, he is a good ruler as a Lord. But I don't know about a king. Shrek: Yeah? Well, maybe you're right princess. But I'll let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow. Fiona: Tomorrow? (looks back at the setting sun) It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp? Shrek: No, that'll take longer! We can keep going. Cindy Vortex: Besides, for all we know, that dragon could've gotten free by now! We can't let her have a chance to get us again! Jimmy Neutron: Plus, we have to keep to schedule, we can't keep Farquaad waiting. Fiona: But, (stutters) There's robbers in the woods! Donkey: Whoa, time out Shrek! Camp is definitely startin' to sound good! Libby Folfax: Besides, I need my beauty sleep! I'm ready to take a rest! Cindy Vortex: And if there are robbers in these woods, there's telling what they could do to the Princess or ladies like me! Carl Wheezer: Yeah, or someone very nervous like me! Shrek: Hey, come on! I'm scarier than anything we're goin' to see in this forest! Scoop: Plus, no robber would do anything to us! One quick shot of a Freeze ray will get them racing off like cowards. Gru: Yeah, so will you guys quit being like sissies? Fiona: (storms in the front of the group) I need to find somewhere to camp, NOW!!! bunch of birds are heard flying away as the team look in shock at Fiona and then to each other and back at Fiona. Tom Thomas: On second thoughts, let's make camp. The Guru: Australian Tom Thomas: The Guru says 'Good idea'. Shrek pushes a large boulder Fiona's True Form [Donkey and the Irelanders look to see more firewood piled by the fire already. Meanwhile, Shrek sits on the hill and looks towards Duloc as day turns to night. Later, Donkey and the Irelanders head into the windmill to check on Fiona but she's not there Donkey: Princess! Princess Fiona? Clara: That's odd. I could've sworn she'd be in here. Buck: Split up. Search the perimeter. She could be anywhere in this windmill. Kim Possible: You heard the weasel. Come on. Donkey: Princess, where are you? a fluttering noise and everyone looks to sees bats fly up through the shattered roof to the rafters Fluttershy: Aw, look at those bats. Koki: They must've took refuge here after the owners of the windmill left it. Leo: Yeah. Besides, it's old and broken. It's not been used in a long time. Connor Lacey: Let's keep looking for Fiona. Donkey: Princess? they keep looking, Fiona moves around in the shadows above them Donkey: (gasps) Dash Parr: What was that? Sunset Shimmer: Beats me. Maybe it was just the wind? Iago: Well, whatever it was, it sounds scary. Mushu: I know right? Cri-Kee: (chitters) Donkey: It's very spooky in here. We ain't playing no games. looks at them from behind a wall and attempts to walk behind them but the floor beneath her breaks and she falls into some sacks, creating a cloud of smoke. Donkey and the Irelanders look in her direction in fear as she gets up, her body silhouetted in light Donkey and Irelanders: Aah! comes out, now an ogress Fiona: No! Donkey: No! Help! Fiona: Ssh! Donkey: Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Fiona: No, it's okay! It's okay! Carl Wheezer: Aargh! his inhaler rapidly Agnes: What have you done with the princess?! Fiona: No Agnes, I'm the princess! Donkey: Aah! Fiona: It's me, in this body. Tom Thomas: Falming wallabees! That monster, she ate the princess! Jimmy Neutron: Fiona's stomach Can you hear us?! Fiona: Jimmy! Donkey: Listen, keep breathing! We'll get you outta there! Shrek! Shrek! covers his mouth Shrek! Shrek! Fiona: Sssh! This is me! Donkey: (muffled mumbling) everyone looks at Fiona, who smiles, and then realize that it really is her Gru: Fiona. It is you. Tom Thomas: But... what happened to you? You're, uh...uh, different. Fiona: I'm ugly, OK?! Mushu: Well, yeah. Well, was it something that you ate? Cause we told Shrek that those rats was a bad idea. "You are what you eat." we said, now... Fiona: No. I, I've been this way for as long as I can remember. Cindy Vortex: Well, we've never seen you like this before. It's... kind of new. Fiona: It only happens when the sun goes down. at her reflection in a barrel filled with water By night one way, by day another. This shalt be the norm. Until you find true love's first kiss. And then take love's true form. Thorn: Aw that's a lovely poem, Fiona. Fiona: It's a spell! Tom Thomas: A spell? What are you on about? Fiona: sighs When I was a little girl, a witch cast a spell on me. Every night, I become this. her reflection and splashing the water with her hand This horrible, ugly beast! Dusk: Well, that explains why you're so anxious about finding a place to sleep the night before. Luna: So that we wouldn't discover your secret. Shira: I'm sorry that you look like this every night, Fiona. Fiona: sighs That's not the point, Shira. I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me. down on a wooden wheel That's why I have to marry Lord Farquaad tomorrow before the sun sets and he sees me. sniffs Like this. sobbing Maisie Lockwood: Aw, don't cry, Fiona.Category:Transcripts Category:Transformersprimfan Category:Shrekyardigans